The definitive list of different shades and types of snow
Black Ice Oops, there it is.. .Don't you hate the way you never see it coming?
Blizzard White out with wind. Wish you'd bought new goggles, now?
Bulletproof An AK-47 couldn't break the surface
Cannoned It's white but not snow crystals; made by snow cannons. Also 'Artificial'
Champagne Light and sparkly; makes you want to smile insanely
Chopped Powder that's been skied; makes you want to cry insanely
Compact Snow that's freeze/thawed and/or windblown so compressed down
Concrete Heavy, turgid snow. Stay still and your legs get encased, as in a mafia-style burial
Corn Warmed up snow with sounds like corn during descent usually from spring tour
Crappy Not 'Wrong' just crappy. Should have stayed in bed
Crud Hard, chopped up and icy. See 'Crappy'
Crust Icy often windblown top layer . Also 'Croute' in French. See 'Crappy'
Drift Where the snow blows to; also good place to headplant in resort at 3am
Dusting Light snow but not enough to get the fat skis out
Facets Icy snow crystals you don't want destabilising the snow pack off-piste
Flake Varied shape/symmetry. Largest measured 15"w, 8"h in 1887. A 'heavy' snowstorm?
Fluffy Slightly Disney-esque term for powder
Flurry Quick burst of snow as in a 'light flurry'. Or, in Japan, a 'right frully'
Fresh Enough to get the fat skis out
Groomed Perfect furrows made by slightly OCD snow ploughers. Also known as 'Corduroy'
Hard pack Compressed and icy. Good for Alpine racing; not so good for boards and fat skis
Hoar Frosted surface on snow. Try not to shout out first thing from your bedroom window
Icy See below
Neige-ing Tongue in, er, chic term for snowing used by Brits in France
New So pristine it should have a price tag on it
Orgasmic We'll take the pow in the White Room over the Red Room in 50 Shades of Grey
Pillow Plumped up snow on boulders; and where you'd like your head to be on a 'Crappy' day
Pisted Said with disappointed face if you like 'Fresh' on piste after overnight snowfall in resort
Pockets Dips where snow has accumulated sniffed out by powder hounds
Pow As in JaPow up-to-armpits powder. See endless Go-Pro vids if extremely bored
Powder Deep fresh snow that goes 'pouffff' when your board lands in it
Puking Heavy snowfall; or you at 3am this morning
Rotten No cohesion, just a massive layer of facets. Like mashing 'Bad' and 'Crappy' together.
Sastrugi Wavelike ridges caused by wind. Also Zastrugi. Also try with carbonara sauce
Stella Dendrite Not actually a Swedish Alpine babe but fern-like structure of typical snowflake
Sheet Ice Also Shit !! Ice !!!! As in when you hit it at speed
Shitty Not enough snow so there's dirt and rocks
Slab Avalanche that slides in slabs like igloo bricks. Usually created by windblown snow.
Sluff Loose powder set in motion on steeps. Check out Jeremy Jones on Sluff Management
Slush Melting snow; mostly 'Crappy' for piste skis, almost 'Orgasmic' for snowboards
Snirt More technical term for snow and dirt. See 'Shitty'
Spring Snow that warms up and turns to 'Corn'
Soft Not as light as 'Powder' or 'Champagne' but perfectly rideable
Untracked No one's been there; but, of course, you're going to change that
Watermelon Pink tinge to snow due to algae; or Raspberry Vodka, See 'Puking'
White Room Where all Powder Hounds want to live
White Out Stay in or, at least, stay in the trees
Windblown 'Crust 'surface; not as good as it looks. 'Soufflée' in French, not as good as it sounds
Wrong There's no 'Wrong' snow except on British Rail train lines. Only 'Wrong' riding
Yellow Never eat this. NB. Making bright 'Yellow' indicates hangover and OD-ing on Berocca