Doing a ski season, the best decision of your life? Maybe not. Check out why you should step away from the chalet host / ski instructor / nanny/ bartender application form
Trying to decide whether to work in a ski resort for the winter, maybe before or after uni? We can think of 11 very good reasons why you shouldn't go.
1) You'll Never Have Any Money
Ski resort jobs pay a pittance (unless it's Switzerland). Even though you usually get your ski pass, accommodation and even food thrown in, any money you earn goes on beer, shots and replacement goggles / gloves / mobile left somewhere in one of the bars or in a snowdrift last night. Arguably the memories you'll get, though, will be priceless.
2) You'll Become An Altitude Addict
Nope you won't make your fortune doing a ski season but the chances are you'll become addicted to the lifestyle and just want to stay and do another one, leaving you even more broke and more a Pauper Mouse of Morzine than a Wolf of Wall Street. But at least you'll have an enviable laid back lifestyle able to ski or snowboard and do powder whenever you want. Right? Except you'll be too hung over / knackered to get up for that bluebird morning on your day off.
3) Your Body Will Never Be The Same Again
If you survive a whole winter without a torn ligament, ruptured ACL, broken collar bone and/or fractured wrist from rail riding / off piste / sledging / table dancing give yourself a (gentle) pat on the back Your liver, though, could be permanently damaged.
4) You Could Become AND Have A Ski Bum
You'll get an unhealthy addiction to chalet cake, hoovering up any crumbs that the guests leave and, as a result, developing a chalet arse (and, er, that's not just girls).
5) Your Language Skills May Improve. But Not For The Better
You might think you're going to become fluent in French / Italian / Austrian but in fact the only language you actually learn is the Seasonaire Lingo. (A-Z vocabulary guide here). You also forget how to have a conversation that doesn't involve 'snow'.
6) Zero Tolerance For Punters
After being a seasonaire you'll never want to be the punter (or Jerry) on holiday for just one week. When you're there all winter you have zero tolerance for all punters (even though no punters no wages, no beer) . And if you've worked for a tour op for a winter you'll also know how young and inexperienced the staff are. Forever more you'll be giving them tips (practical tips, that is, such as to how to speed make beds givng you extra time for riding).
7) Too Much Job Satisfaction
Any other job after doing a ski season will never measure up, fun-wise. For one thing you won't get Wednesday afternoons off. Nor be able to hit the bar at noon and stay all day dancing on tables . Plus, of course no skiing or snowboarding when you've done your work by 11am.
8) The Best Friends You'll Ever Make
Anyone you hook up with after doing a ski seaon will never measure up to the friends you made doing a winter in resort. What are we talkng about? Friends? Nah family.
9) Forgetting How To Do Normal Clothes
After a ski season wearing normal clothes seems just so normal. Too normal. Even jeans. Ski and snowboard wear is effortless. One pair of ski pants can take you from off piste to apres. All season. So back in civvies you'll spend hours figuring out which shirt / jacket / shoes combo while wistfully counting your collection of beanies.
10) Drinking In Polite Society Is Going To Take Practice
It may be years after doing a ski season before you are able to sip rather than down a pint of beer. And shots? Last one standing during an evening out? Not a good look on a Monday night when you've an office meeting in the morning at 9am.
11) You Can Take The Seasonaire Out Of The Mountain
But you'll never take the mountain out of the seasonaire. Wherever you are working in winter, an Evian poster or Facebook post of the mountains will start you pining for the seasonaire life. The mountains are calling? After a winter season you'll never shut them up.